


Celestine Seas

by ebonyIllusion



Category: Homestuck
Genre: ...fluff?, Canada, Drowning, Island Tower, M/M, Merstuck, My First Fanfic, Ocean, Snakes, Yellow Lipped Sea Krait, idk - Freeform, idk where this is going, mermaid - Freeform, merman, sea snake, seasnake, snake!dirk, so you know, sort of, striped snake
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-04-21
Updated: 2014-10-08
Packaged: 2017-12-09 02:08:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/768742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ebonyIllusion/pseuds/ebonyIllusion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Jake English (nearly?) drowns.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Drowning is never what you expect. Not even slightly.

Drowning is never what you expect. Not even slightly.

Your name is JAKE ENGLISH, and you decided for reasons unbeknownst to you to go out fishing at four-thirty. PM.  
You should have really just stayed back on the island with Jade and your cousin’s and maybe you could have thawed out that tuna from a few month’s ago. But no. You had to go out and catch a fresh fish right then and there. Ah well. What’s done is done, you suppose.  
You stop the motor of your fishing boat as you enter one of your favourite fishing grounds. Or waters, you suppose. Hehehe. You get ready to drop your line. Right now, you are trying for bottom feeders, like rock fish. If you can’t get any of those, you’ll check the lobster traps. If you still can’t get anything, you’ll just have to thaw that tuna.  
You wait, bobbing the line every so often, looking at the tiny jellyfish swim nearby. It was still plenty light out, the sun inching towards the horizon ever so slowly.  
It was promising to be an excellent summer.  
You’re brought back to earth with a jolt as you feel a sharp tug at your line. A nibble! If your lucky, you’ll come back with a decent sized fish for dinner. If not, the bugger’ll probably make off with your bait. You tug the line gently again. A bite now! What luck! You reel in the line at a good speed, occasionally dipping the line to give the fish some leeway. “Perfect!” You mutter to yourself.  
Just as you can begin to see the end of the line in the deep water, it suddenly loses all its weight, causing you to nearly yank the line clear out of the water before regaining control of it. “Dammit!” You say angrily, reeling your line up at a slower pace now instead of your slightly rushed fervor of a moment before. But the sight at the end of your line, or rather, lack thereof, stuns you. Your line appears to be cut very precisely with something a few inches above where the lure had been or so.  
“What in the...” You trail off as you put away the rod. Thank Gog you have extra rods and reels. But as you glance out at the water, you spot something that worries you.  
A black and white striped snaky body was just visible under the water.  
It was at least as big around as an oil barrel, and well muscled judging by the way it rippled through the water.  
Very long, too, going by how long it had rippled by for. Once the paddled tail had slipped by, you break out of the trance seeing the thing had put you in. “Christ on a cracker!” You exclaim and jump to start the motor.  
Whatever the bloody hell that was, it could certainly take out your boat, and you sure weren’t sticking around for that.  
You quickly put the rod back in the box you kept it and the other rods in and started to head to the wheel, but you somehow trip halfway across the ship, momentum throwing you against the other end of the boat and nearly over the edge.  
Thank Gog you had the foresight to purchase those cords that kept your glasses around your neck if they fell off.  
You could make them out, squinting, hanging just barely above the waves. You attempt to half roll, half push yourself back full into the ship, but in a flurry of movement, you are somehow in the water.  
You attempt to kick your legs and thats when you notice the hands firmly gripping you by the ankles.  
You try to kick free of the hands, but whoever’s got you is stronger than you are, and that's no mean feat. You are suddenly jerked downward and you can feel your glasses leave your neck. You try to grab for them, but the strangers dragging you down too fast. You try to bend down and aggrieve your assailant to get them to let go, but the speed picks up.  
Your vision was terrible at best, but now you could barely make out blurs in the darkening salty water.  
Despite this, as you looked down, you could make out the sinewy, striped form of whatever it was you saw in the water earlier.  
You began to panic slightly.  
What is this thing?  
What was it going to do with me?  
You begin to kick again, in vain.  
You look up again. You couldn’t see daylight anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear he isn't dead.
> 
> Well. No idea where I'm going with this thing.  
> Take note that this is taking place somewhere off the Canadian border. Mostly because I don't want to have to research American laws for any reason at all. And it saves me the trouble. 
> 
> Tumblr http://the-place-over-the-rainbow.tumblr.com  
> Eh.


	2. Soup and snake-boys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which soup smells delicious.

You wake up coughing and spluttering on something wet and sandy, presumably a beach.   
You lay there hacking out seawater for several minutes, a hand at your back pounding firmly. After your hacking fit you sit up, shivering, until you notice something suspiciously spectacle-like with something dangling off of it being held in front of your face.   
“Thanks.” You mumble, taking your glasses from the mysterious blur that was presumably human holding them. You shake a bit of water off of them and push them on your face.   
You take in a breath to properly thank your rescuer but break into another coughing fit instead. The stranger thumps your back again.  
“Are you all right?” His (it must be a he) voice was flat, deep, and pleasantly husky.   
“Yes,” you manage. “Thank-” You stop as you look up at your rescuer. He had strikingly orange eyes and a light dappling of freckles across his face and on his shoulders down his arms. His hair was white-blonde and vaguely spiky, an effect diminished by the fact that his hair was wet, like your own. You noticed he was rather pale, almost white. He was bare chested, showing off what looked like more muscle than you yourself possessed. He was leaning the way seals do when they’re on land, arms down, hips a little way back, hands pointing out to the sides. His torso melded smoothly into a long, black and white striped snake tail that snaked out into the water and out of sight. He was definitely longer than your boat. His tail was about as big around as an oil barrel and as well-muscled as the rest of him. And, now that you’re looking, you can see that he majority of his skin was finely dappled with tiny whitish scales that caught the light.   
You sat and gaped, not knowing what to say or how to react.   
“...Y-you’re that thing I saw in the water!” You say incredulously at last.   
“Yep.” He says flatly. “And I sorta tried to drown you, too. Sorry about that.” You see his face swiftly gain an opalescent pinkish hue. “I also pulled you out of your boat, too.”   
“Wh-” You start to say, but end up in a coughing hacking mess again. The snake- fish? -boy thumped your back again, a slightly concerned look passing his features before they became a stony mask again. “Why?” He asks. You nod, breathing heavily. “Uhhh, its kind of a really long story, and I should probably go get your boat.” You sit fully up suddenly. “My boat!”   
The fish- snake?? -boy nodded. “Once I was sure you weren’t going to die, I was going to go get it.” “Y-you can do that?!” You exclaim incredulously. “Yep. These guns ain’t here just for show, y’know.” He lifted his right arm from the ground and flexed. “Plus being a snake under water means you gotta pull your own weight.” So he was a snake. “So I’ll be right back-”   
“Wait!” You exclaim. “C-can you come back in a few hours? I should probably go inside and warm up a-” You sneeze mid sentence. “Yeah. So I’ll swing by with your boat in a few hours.” He said with a smirk.   
“Y-yeah.” You say.   
The snake boy slid back into the ocean with only a slight flick of the end of his paddled tail. You sit there flabbergasted.   
You just had an almost-normal conversation with a snake boy.   
You reach up and pinch your face, just to be sure. By golly! You turn around to see where you are.   
The fellow had dropped you off on your own beach.   
The tall pearly tower you called home was only a few yards up the beach, and you could see the lights on in the kitchen. Since the tower was too narrow to accommodate more than one room on each floor, the rooms were stacked on top of one another. First was the kitchen, the ground floor. It also served as a living room. Next was the movie room. You and your cousin John had a passion for movies, so of course you had an entire floor for movie watching, plus it housed your lesser but equally passionate love for action novels and comics. It was like a library in there. The floor after that was a greenhouse for more delicate and tropical plants (all others stayed in and around the yard). Your sister absolutely loved plants and gardening, and because you got a floor for your hobby, she got one for hers. Plus cousin Jane liked to sit in there. Not much plant life to see in Washington, you guess. After that was your room, then Jade’s. Each had a spare bed for your cousin’s and any other guests who might stay, but you didn’t get many living on a small small island out at sea. The second-to-last floor was the nice sitting room. You and Jade figured if you held any fancy parties or anything more extravagant than a messy slumber party in the movie room you could use it for that. You had a bookshelf with books recommended by Jade’s good friend Rose up there too. The last and weirdest floor was the lab. It was in the spherical room on top of the tower, equipped with tons of machines and tools, plus a small workshop in the corner for you and your sisters shared robotics hobby. You loved to tinker with machines.   
You look up the beach at the kitchen for a few minutes before shaking out of your reverie and get to your feet.   
You stand, wobbling only slightly, and slowly make your way to the back door of the kitchen.   
When you open the door you discover that Jade, Jane, and John had been talking in the kitchen but had turned the moment you opened the door. “Hello chaps! Sorry, didn’t get lucky this time, I’m afraid.” “Jake!!” Jade exclaims. “What happened?!”   
You must look worse than you thought you did because all three of them have suddenly surrounded you and begun to drag you inside to sit down, not listening to your protests and repeated ‘I’m fine!’s.   
“No, really chaps!” You say while Jane prepares hot soup for you. “It’s not that bad! I just fell off the boat and got a little wet! It’s nothing to worry yourselves about!!” “A little wet my butt, Jake!” Jade says. “You look like you got dragged through a coral reef backwards!” She’s got her hands on her hips and she’s doing her ‘shut up and listen or else’ face that she makes whenever you hurt yourself. “Now hush up!”   
You comply. Your sister could be terribly frightening when she was angry. “Here you go Jake.” Jane said, setting a bowl of soup down on the counter next to you. Jane had always loved cooking. Mostly baking, but she loved to cook, too. You and Jade made sure your kitchen was well stocked and equipped for her. You and John already had the movie room for your shared hobby, and Jade had the island and her greenhouse for her hobby, so you made sure the kitchen was well outfitted for Jane’s hobby. Your cousins stayed here so much, your sure if Jane had had a different hobby, you and Jade would have made sure you had space for it in your tower. By now it was second nature to make sure the refrigerator was well-stocked for when your cousins visited.   
“Thanks a billion, Janey.” You turn to partake of the soup. “Real topnotch of you.” “What else would I do, doofus?” Jane ruffled your hair. “Let you freeze?” “I’m going to go get a blanket!” John announced and ran off to the stairs. He was back in a minute with a fleece blanket and immediately wrapped it around your shoulders. “Thanks chaps. I mean it.” You say seriously. “Now Jake, tell us what happened.” Jade said, sitting down in the bar stool next to yours.   
“Well...” You trail off. Should you tell them? No, you should probably wait and see what the snake boy’s preference is on that. You find yourself wishing that time would speed up to the time you’re supposed to meet him. You snap out of your thoughts.   
“I was putting my rods away, you see, and I tripped.”   
You decide the closest you can get to the truth is best.   
“I almost fell out the bloody boat, but I didn’t, not quite. As I was getting my balance, my glasses fell off and I reached out for them before they got smacked foolish on the side of the boat, and what would you know it I was suddenly tumbling head over heels into the briny deep! But I’m fine, really. Just cold.”   
“If you’re sure, Jake.” Jade said, still not convinced. “Just make sure you finish that soup, ok?” “I will.” You say, turning again to eat your soup.   
It sure smelled delicious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well. Another chapter. I'm surprised at how much attention this is getting. Free hugs for everyone!!!
> 
> For some reason the end of this one was harder to write. Smooth sailing the moment I started the next paragraph, though. 
> 
> No, seriously, every time I see another one of you left kudos or bookmarked this I get the warm fuzzies. I love you all.


	3. Broship

After watching Con Air again with John (you had a mutual agreement that it was a great movie), you said you had forgotten something out on the boat and had to go out and get it. Jade made you bundle up good, so you didn’t feel the night chill as you stepped outside.   
You walked, humming slightly, to the docks, thinking about the snake-boy. You definitely had to ask his name. And maybe you could be friends! You wondered if there were many sea-snake people to be friends with around here. You still rather wanted to get to know this fellow.   
He wasn’t there when you got to the end of the pier where you usually moored your boat, and you hoped he had the sense not to bring it to the beach.   
You sat down at the edge of the pier and waited. You leaned up against one of the support poles at the end and resumed your humming.   
After a while, you could see a dark shape in the distance.   
It looked kinda like a boat. Or did it? It was a little foggy out and you couldn’t really see that far.   
As the shape got closer, you could tell it was definitely your boat.   
As it got even closer, you could see the shape of the snake boy half pulling half swimming alongside the boat close to the water. You stand silently and wait for the boat to come close enough to be in earshot.   
“Hello!” You call. You make sure to keep it down, in case someone can hear you from the tower. “Sup.” He said as he got closer. “Figured I would have had to wait for you.” “Nope, I’m always on time!” You say with a little bit of a nervous laugh.   
“Here.” The snake boy handed you the rope he was using to pull the boat along. You take the rope and begin to properly tie the boat to the dock.   
“So,” You say as you tie a knot. “I don’ think I caught your name...” “I didn’t throw it.” The snake boy had his arms up on the deck and was leaning on them. You stifle a giggle. “OK, whats your name, then?” You try again.   
“Dirk Strider.” He says in a deadpan tone. It seemed to be a part of his poker face.   
“A pleasure to meet you, Dirk, I’m Jake English.” You stop what you are doing and offer your hand for a shake. He takes it and firmly shakes it once.   
“Now, mind telling me why a nice chap like you would go around drowning innocent fishers?” You turn back to your knots.   
“I don’t like people fishing just outside my house and your hook got stuck in my lil bro and I got mad.” He said simply. “Your still alive because I realized at the last minute that I was being a god-tier douche drowning you for such a stupid reason.”   
“Oh. Ehehe. Terribly sorry about all that. Is your brother all right?”   
“Yeah. The blood attracted some predators, but he’s fine. It’s a good thing he’s poisonous enough to kill anything that tries to kill him.” You turn to look at him, a horrified look on your face.   
Dirk smirked. “Don’t worry. I don’t bite. And if I did, I’m not poisonous.” You breathed an inward sigh of relief.   
“You have a brother?” You ask conversationally.   
“Yep. If I didn’t just state that clear as glass for you.”   
“OK. So, is it just the two of you out there, or is there a secret colony beneath the waves that I am unaware of?”   
“Nope. Just me and my Bro.” Dirk said.   
“Oh.” You say. “Well, that sucks.”   
“Kinda.” You finish tying the boat and sit on the deck, facing him.   
“Hey, do you wanna be friends?” You say after a minute. “I was just thinking, um, because, I mean,” You try to speak legibly, honestly you do, but no cigar.   
“Golly, I don’t know what I was thinking.”   
“Sure.” Dirk said offhandedly. “Don’t see why not.”   
You kind of just stare dumbfounded for a moment. You had honestly expected to be turned down. Or more precisely had your offer turned down.   
“You mean it?” You say, more than a little hopeful. “You really mean it?”   
“Now, bro, you sound like you’ve never had a friend before.” Dirk said, gesturing vaguely with one hand. “Is that just a vibe I’m gettin’, or do you really have no friends?”   
You chuckle nervously. “Hehehe. I’ve got friends!” You protest.   
“And can you count them on one hand or not?” Dirk raised an eyebrow at you.   
You think for a moment before ticking off fingers on one hand. You got to four before Dirk stopped you.   
“And family doesn’t count.” He said, pointing at you accusingly. You frown and the count goes back up to two.   
“I honestly thought I had more than that...” You trail off, staring at your fingers dejectedly. Dirk silently reached out to pull a third finger upright.   
“You forgot me, Bro. Still can count all your friends on one hand though. Mind if I ask who the other two are?”   
“By all means, chap.” You say. “One is more my sisters chum, her names Rose, and her sister Roxy and I are great pals.”   
“Whoa whoa whoa whoa.” Dirk said. “You know the Lalonde's?”   
“Yeah!” You look at Dirk. “You know them too?”   
“Of course.” Dirk said. “Roxy’s what kept me and my bro from gettin’ caught by crazy-a** scientists and put in tanks and sh**.”   
“Whats up with that anyhow?” You ask. “You look like you just popped fresh out of a fairy tale or a pirate fable.”   
“Well, see,” Dirk began. “Me an’ my Bro, we were just normal dudes until we were about fourteen or so. Then I was out at the beach one day and I see this mer chick. I was like, ‘hot damn, who’s this?’ for about two seconds before she dragged me under. She brought me to this taller, hotter mer chick with way more hair and said she’s got what the empress wanted, and set me down right there like I was a live grenade. The empress is looking at me like I’m the biggest fish she’s ever seen and theres a famine going on, then she tells me my parents did some sh** and I was gonna pay her back. I said, ‘no way, b****, not happening’, then she snaps her fingers and my feet start walkin’ up to her by them selves. I get real close, trying to lean back as my feet keep going, and she trails one of her claws along my jaw and says,”   
You sit there, enraptured by his story. Making it up or no, this is some topnotch adventure.   
“‘Not your decision, guppy’ real slow-like, and then she’s grabbed my face with her talons and I’m trying to get away, and theres some freaky lights and chanting and next thing I know I’m laying on the seafloor with no idea where I was. Thank god I was close to the shore. Now this is the fun part.”   
He said, his smirk growing by the moment.   
“Me and my Bro, we lived on the top floor of this apartment, see.”   
You hold back a laugh.   
“So I sneak into town like the snake I am and get my a** up there to tell my Bro I’m not dead, and stink up his sh** cause I smelled like fish. There was no denying it, and when nature gives you the chance to stink up your Bro’s room with fish without having to rot a fish in your refrigerator to do it, you sure as hell do it. When he woke up I was looming over him. You should have seen his face!”   
Dirk's face had lit up like a candle.  
“I leaned over him and whispered, Daaaaaaaave.”   
He whispered eerily.   
“After he did a majestic pirouette off the handle and I raided the f*** out of the fridge, we settled down and had a good chat about why the f*** I got turned into a sea snake. We figured that out too. Did some hardcore studying. I’m supposed to be poisonous, but for some reason I’m not. Real bummer. We decided to keep it on the down-low until we figured out what the hell to do about it all. I stayed at Roxy and Rose’s place at night, just in case. It was like that for six months or so.”   
Dirk wasn’t so exited now.   
“Then Dave disappeared. I found him drifting in the bottom of a trench miles from home. Same as me, but he got poison fangs. I’ve forbidden him from kissing anyone until Rox found a way to remove his fangs.”   
He snickered.   
“We stay in a cave we found at the sea floor now. It’s cozy.”   
"It sound nice."  
You sit in silence for a few moments.   
“I should probably go back inside.” You say eventually. “Should probably warm up some more. Drowning takes a lot out of a chap!”   
You flash Dirk a signature Egbert-English bucktoothed grin.   
“But do you want to meet up tomorrow? At the other end of the island or something. I’d like to get to know my new mate and we could have a proper adventure!”   
You stand, hands on your hips.   
“My treat!”   
Dirk heaved himself up onto the deck to ‘stand’ in front of you. He was a great deal taller than you.   
“Sounds good to me.” He said. You thrust out your hand for a hand shake. “It’s a deal, then? Meet here at one ‘o’ clock?”   
“You got yourself a deal.” Dirk shook your hand firmly. “Bring your swim trunks.” “We’ll go swimming then?” You ask excitedly, but Dirk was gone in a flash, leaving only a ripple on the surface and a flick of his tail by way of a farewell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Looks like these 'chapters' are getting steadily longer. Thats either a good thing or a bad thing.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> uhhh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't updated in so long, but I don't really think anyones following this piece of shit fanfic anyways so eh.

The next morning you wake up excited.  
You wonder for a minute why that is, then you remember.  
You and Dirk were going to hang out today!  
You got out of bed and got dressed. Short shorts, gun holsters, black tank top, and long trench coat today.  
Rose’s girlfriend, Kanaya, had a burning passion for fashion design and never passed up the chance to try different styles.  
You were volunteered by your sister and Kanaya has designed and made your clothes ever since.  
She says she needs to practice certain styles and your love of adventure made you a perfect guinea pig.  
She made clothes for you that made you feel like the main character in a movie! You wore a set every day. You loved it.  
You walked down the stairs, petting Bec’s head as he came out of Jade’s room to greet you.  
“Morning, old chap.” You mutter absently. You trot down the stairs, Bec at your heels.  
“Morning!” You call from the kitchen landing. Jane is making pancakes and John and Jade are talking animatedly at the table, but they all turn around and say good morning as you walk in.  
You walk to the table and sit down in your seat, half listening to John and Jade’s conversation about botany.  
Jane brings breakfast to the table, bacon, toast, eggs, and hash browns.  
“I’m going out at about noon.” You inform your sibling and cousins between bites. “Might pack dinner and eat in the forest.” “OK!” Jade says. “Just no fishing, got that?” “Of course!” You say before returning to your bacon with vigor.  
The rest of the morning passes in a blur. You do your house jobs and eat your (small) lunch in a flash, and soon its quarter to one. You head back up to your room to change, putting on your swim trunks under your shorts.  
You pack up enough lunch for you and Dirk- its only polite as a host to offer lunch, even if he probably already ate.  
You say your goodbyes to your family and set off for the dock, a spring in your step. You don’t have many friends, as was determined last night, and the ones you do have go to school and work, and as a general rule are particularly busy, so you greatly enjoy hanging out with them whenever possible.  
When you get to the dock, Dirk is not quite there yet, so you sit down to wait, after checking your watch and determining that it is five to one, and you are early.  
You don’t have long to wait however, and a few moments later Dirk’s head appeared just above the far edge of the dock.  
“Hello old chap!” You say jovially. “Ready for a day of rip-roaring adventure?”  
“No.” He deadpans. “Is that food?” He points at your cooler.  
“Why yes it is! I thought it’d be nice to have a picnic with my new buddy, so I packed us lunch!”  
“Whoa, thanks man.” Dirk slithered-slash-climbed onto the dock. “Fish is great and all, but it loses its appeal after you eat nothing but for half your life.”  
“Not a problem! You can have all of it, if you like. I had a light lunch before I left anyways. But!” You stand up. “What shall we do first? Swimming? Exploring?”  
“Lets swim, then lunch.” Dirk said.  
“Lets go then!” You declare and start walking along the shore towards the other end of the island. “Theres a sort of beach at the end of the island that the rest of my family tends to avoid. Its a mite hard to reach, so I can understand why they don’t want to go swim there.”  
You walked along in silence for a while until you reached the cluster of trees and bushes around the little beach.  
“When you say ‘mite’...” Dirk said, looking at the admirably complex tangle of vegetation.  
You laugh. “It’s nothing, if you know where you’re going. I’ll meet you on the other side?”  
“Sure.” Dirk kept swimming. “Just holler if you get stuck.” “Sure thing old chap!”  
You begin to make your way through the barrier with ease. You know where all of the tricky thorns and bramble knots are of course, being the master explorer that you are.  
When you get to the other side, Dirk’s already waiting for you, tail curled into a neat bundle underneath him.  
“Lets get to swimming then, eh old chap?”  
He turns. “Yeah. Wanna race?”  
You walk over and put down the cooler.  
“Your on, mate! Bet I can beat you.” You wink at him, a huge grin splitting your face. “I sort of took up professional swimming as a hobby. I’m pretty good at freestyle if I do say so myself.”  
“Lets go then.” Dirk said and uncurled, slithering into the water. You run after him and the two of you swim until you can barely stand anymore.  
“So,” You pant from where you lay on the sand next to Dirk. “Who, won?”  
“I got, no idea dude.” Dirk pants back. “But I’m hungry. What do you have in that cooler of yours?”  
“Sandwiches mostly.” You get up and walk to the cooler. “Veggies, some leftovers from yesterday, and cake.”  
“...Cake isn’t a beach picnic food...” Dirk looks at you upside down like a cat.  
“Try telling my cousin that!” You laugh. “Jane must’ve snuck it in there.”  
“What kind of person...Never mind. Do you have peanut butter and jam?”  
“No, sorry about that old chap. I’m incredibly allergic to peanuts. Ham and cheese, turkey, and cucumber though!”  
“Oh. Thats good to know.” Dirk rolled over and slithered up the sand on his front. “Turkey then please.”  
“Here!” Jake picked up one of the sandwiches and handed it to Dirk. “Thanks bro.” Dirk unwrapped the sandwich and took a bite. Jake picked up a ham and cheese sandwich and sat down next to Dirk to eat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I suck at this arranging shit holy jeeze.  
> And the writing bit holy fuck m8  
> And I'm now at http://the-place-over-the-rainbow.tumblr.com if you have a tumblr and want an insine look at the bullshit that is my interests or ask a question or something.  
> it'll probably be another couple months until the next chapter again so don't hold your breath. because i don't know what i want to do or where i want t go with this, it takes extra long to write. *sign* any plot, character, or ANYTHING suggestions are more than welcome, seriously just word vomit at me and I'm happy.  
> Kat, out!


	5. Bad Jokes and Piggyback Rides

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dirk is a horrible awkward nerd, and so is Jake

“So what should we do next?” You ask after you both have had a couple sandwiches each and had started on the cake. You were just nibbling on cake and sunning your selves now.  
Dirk leaned back on one hand.  
“I dunno. Explore?”  
“Sounds good to me. Where did you want to explore, mate? I’ve already been everywhere on the island, so i can give you the grand tour or some approximation of the grand tour if you want.”  
You wipe your hands on your napkin.  
“I was thinking we could check out where I usually hang.” Dirk said. “Theres a nice rocky bit I hang at that’d be nice and warm around this time of day. We could sit there and digest n shit, and maybe after we could check out some kelp beds, those are cool.”  
“That sounds great! Lets go get ready, I’ll get the-”  
You stop, remembering what Jade said at the breakfast table this morning.  
“Whassup?” Dirk looked over. “Something wrong Jake?”  
“Not really. We’ll just have to watch ourselves getting the boat, I suppose. Jade forbade me from going using it today.”  
“Aw, you don't gotta do nothin’ bro.” Dirk ‘stood’ up. “I can give you a piggyback ride or whatever. No problem.”  
“That’d be swell, thanks Dirk! Are you sure you can swim with me on your back though? Not that I dont have faith in you or anything, its just that people get really heavy in water as I’m sure you know.”  
“Yeah, no problem.” Dirk flexed one arm. “I can do anything with these guns.”  
“ Alright, if you say so Dirk.” You get up. “I’ll just hide this stuff away so no wild critters can get at it and we can get swimming!”  
“I can help.” Dirk brushed some sand off his scales.  
“Thanks mate!” You grin and pack away stuff as he hands them you. Soon enough the basket is full, and well-hidden from local wildlife.  
“I think we’re ready to go.”  
“Alright then buddy lets go.” Dirk turns his back to you and positions his arms so his hands are like a seat and his arms in a loop.  
“C’mon dude. Giddyup. Lets go. Hop on. Mount me.”  
You let out a burst of laughter. “Alright, if you say so mate!”  
You jump onto Dirk’s back. “We ride at dawn!”  
Dirk laughs and wobbles a little as he adjust to your added weight, then straightens.  
“Hi I’m Dirk Strider and this is jackass.” He charges at the water and plunges into the waves. You restrain a giggle as the water surrounds you.  
You’re not under for thirty seconds before you’re surfacing again. Dirk swims by wiggling his tail back and forth fairly quickly, like some water snakes you’ve seen in marine documentaries. Its downright weird and quite frankly improbable for someone his size, but you have decided not to question it.  
When you get to the rocky outcropping Dirk apparently hangs out at all the time you take a good look around.  
Its a ways out, you cant see land too well. It looks a lot like the sorts of rocks sea lions like, nice and big with a lot of lounging surface.  
“Gosh, its real nice out here Dirk!” You climb off Dirk and walk forwards a little.  
“Yeah. I was thinking maybe hang out here awhile, then mosey on over to see the kelp beds over that ways.” He points.  
“Sounds good to me!” You lie down on a rock, face up to the sky.  
“Take a nap, get some sun, then go for a nice swim, all with my new friend? Sounds like my idea of a great day.”  
Dirk laughs and stretches out on his front beside you. “Really? I’d have thought you'd be the rip roaring adventure kinda dude from the way you’d been acting.”  
“Nah.” You sigh and cross your arms behind your head.  
“I used to be, but I grew out of that a while ago. It was fun, and I still have the same enthusiasm as before, but now I like to take my time and look around when I do stuff. Really savour the adventure, the experience.” Dirk hums noncommittally.  
You let your eyes fall shut, the warmth of the sun making you sluggish and sleepy. You heard Dirk picking at some thing or other, but you don’t care. You only care about the sun on your face and the wind in your hair and Dirk lying next to you picking at barnacles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so at this point i feel i should let you all know i proof-read, beta, and spell check my own stuff, just me myself and i. if you see any spelling mistakes, please let me know.  
> also! im in the hswc this year! hooray! im the friendleader of team abstrata (aka pizzacutterkind) and its tons of fun. so yeah ive been trying to write for a lot more, try to practive writing one-shots, yknow. ive been leaning on art more heavily for bonus rounds however, because im better and faster at that and yeah. you can see some of the stuff ive drawn for that on my tumblr, tagged with hswc. im gonna try and remember to post it all publicly at some point.  
> also, im sorry the update took so long. as i said ive been busy with the hswc, and a lot of stuff has been happening for me so far, and yeah.  
> wow just updates comin out the woodwork up in here.  
> edit: i missed fixing a 'grad' into a 'grad', whoops


	6. Chapter 6

“Yo. Yo, Jake.” Dirk’s voice makes it into your unwillingly conscious mind. You grumble and roll over as he pokes your cheek with one finger.  
“Come on, buddy, we got shit to do. And you’re gonna get sunburn if you lay here much longer bro.”  
You groan and rub at your eyes under your glasses.  
“I will dunk you in the water, don’t test me bro.”  
You bat in his general direction, hoping to at least let him know you’re awake, or hopefully bat his stupid shades off of his face. “L’me alone.”  
“Real eloquent dude.” Dirk laughs. “But if we don’t make it over to those kelp beds we wanted to check out soon its gonna be way late before we get back.”  
You reluctantly roll over and sit up. “How far away is it?”  
“He awakens.” Dirk mutters to himself. “Just a lil ways off. A family of otters go there a ton for sea urchins and shit. They might be there now.”  
“Cool.” You say with a yawn. “Lets get going then shall we?”  
“Alrighty dude. Hop on.” Dirk turned around and moved his arms to a piggy-backing position. “Lets-a go!”  
You jump onto his back and exclaim “Onwards, my noble steed!”. He chuckles.  
“Three, two, one. Dive dive dive!” He says and dives into the water.  
Dirk swims like he did before, physics defying and fast, so you get there in no time.  
You spend about an hour playing in the kelp bed before you get too tired to swim anymore and Dirk carries you back to the beach.  
You both lay on the sand and point out oddly shaped clouds while you dry off.  
Too soon its dark, and Dirk has to head home for dinner. You stand on the deck to see him off.  
“Well, I guess I’ll see you around, chap!” You say with a smile. “Today was simply capital. Best fun I’ve had in a long time.”  
“Same here.” Dirk said. “We should hang out again sometime. Maybe check out the coast or something.”  
“Definitely!” You agree, and the two of you discuss future plans for a little while.  
“See you then bro!” Dirk waves as he swims off.  
“See you!” You call, and head back up to the tower for dinner.  
After you eat a big meal and watch a movie with your family (Indiana Jones, Raiders of the Lost Ark), you head upstairs and get ready for bed.  
As you lay awake in your bed, you think about Dirk.  
You think about the great day you had, the swimming race, playing tag in the kelp bed (Dirk won every time, the cheater), and your unplanned nap on that rocky out-cropping.  
You think about Dirk, about how he swims, about how he smiles, and about how he looks still dripping wet in the sunlight.  
You pause this train of thought for a moment.  
Now, you’re pretty confident about your sexuality. You found out you were bi quite some time ago, and you came out to your friends and family not long after.  
You take a moment to contemplate how you feel about Dirk, and your opinion on hypothetically dating him.  
You come to the conclusion that no, you would not object to dating Dirk Strider.  
You would also not object to, lets say, kissing him senseless.  
Or other, less mentionable things.  
You blush a little bit. Maybe you’re going to fast on this one.  
It might be better to wait until you know him better to actually make any moves of any sort.  
You roll over and try to go to sleep.  
After about thirty minutes of rolling around and pointedly not thinking about Dirk’s nice abs, you finally fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so heyy. its been awhile. yeah. sorry about me fucking up the estimated date for this one, it has been a long and stressful few months. anyways, it looks like i will not be able to update this as often as i (and a few of you) would like! yay. hopefully i'll be able to pick up the pace in the next little bit. i should also be able to put up some more super john galaxy stuff soon, too. anyhow, i hope you liked the chapter!
> 
> EDIT 2017/01/20: this is effectively discontinued atm. i really want to rewrite this properly and give it the attention it deserves but writing has become very stressful for me of late so this has taken a back seat to my personal projects for now. sorry for the inconvenience

**Author's Note:**

> I swear he isn't dead.
> 
> Well. No idea where I'm going with this thing.  
> Take note that this is taking place somewhere off the Canadian border. Mostly because I don't want to have to research American laws for any reason at all. And it saves me the trouble. 
> 
> Tumblr http://the-place-over-the-rainbow.tumblr.com  
> Eh.


End file.
